Benefits for Both

Who would turn down a good massage? There aren't many things that are equal parts indulgent, relaxing, and good for you. In addition to releasing tension, a massage can help regulate blood pressure and boost your immune system, according to recent studies. And when done right, an at-home massage has serious chill-out benefits for both of you. So grab your partner and relax with our DIY guide.

Rule 1: Don't Push So Hard

Depending on your goal, there are times when you need a tiny bit of pain for gain (like when you're putting pressure on a knot). But in general you want to give firm enough pressure that you can feel the muscle move underneath the skin without making your partner grimace or squirm, says Ben Brown, a massage therapist at Bliss, a New York City spa.

Rule 2: Work Slowly

Rubbing hard and fast will just irritate your partner's muscles. Instead, use slow, even strokes with the palms of your hands, thumbs, or finger pads (the fleshy part of your fingertips).

Rule 3: Avoid Bones and Joints

Never push directly on the spine and be careful not to put too much pressure on muscles that run over the ribs and shoulder blades. If someone has thin muscle tissue, you can bruise bones by going too hard, says Tricia Pottratz, massage therapist and instructor in Woodland, Washington. Also be wary of knees, elbows, and shoulders.

Watch and Learn: Basic Massage Techniques

Sometimes it's easier to learn by seeing the pros in action! Watch to master these basic rules for giving your partner a relaxing massage before moving on to individual body parts.

Shoulders

The lower back may be the number one spot for injuries, but shoulders are where people carry most of their tension. Hunching over a computer screen all day long or carrying an overloaded bag can throw you out of alignment.

Shoulders: How To Do It

Most people know the basic shoulder massage move: Grab both shoulders from behind and use the thumbs to push down. Amateurs often mess this up by breaking rule number 2—they work too fast.

Shoulders: How To Do It

If your hands get tired easily, use your forearms. Have your partner sit up while you stand behind him. Place your right forearm on his right shoulder, palm facing up. Rest your left hand on his left shoulder. Then use your body weight to press down on your forearm while rotating it in toward his neck. Repeat on the other side.

Shoulders: Pro Tip

An even easier way to work tight shoulders? Grab a tennis ball. "Simply roll the ball all over with the palm of your hand," Pottratz says. You can't mess it up this way. It saves your hands from doing all the work and it feels amazing.

Lower Back

Put your hands on your hips, says Gruver. Those two thick, stiff columns your thumbs land on are the muscles responsible for keeping you upright. They're made to be tight or else you'd fall over, but rubbing them can relax a painful lower back.

Lower Back: How To Do It

While straddling him, position one hand on his lower back muscle, with fingers pointing away from his spine. Place your other hand on top of the first hand. Use your body weight to push down slowly, pressing the heels of your hands into the muscle like you're pushing it away from his spine. Try one hand on either side of the spine; rock back and forth. If he has trouble lying on his stomach, place a pillow under his hips to ease the pressure.

Neck

Anything from how you sit at your computer to the way you sleep can lead to chronic neck pain, which is why so many people complain of tense and overstressed muscles in this spot.

Neck: How To Do It

While he's on his stomach or sitting up, gently place your palm on the back of his neck, creating light pressure with your thumb on one side and four fingers on the other. Slowly pull your hand toward the back of the neck while squeezing your thumb and fingers together around those neck muscles. (Avoid pressure toward the front of the neck so you don't choke him.)